Willo O'Brien

This morning I looked up “blasphemous” to make sure I was using it correctly – and I found it funny that the definition is “Impiously irreverent.” I had to then look up “Impiously”. hahaa

The play I went & saw tonite: The Designated Mourner was really really good… you should go see it. I am so excited for their new theatre space, too. It’s totally perfect for them. Their sets were fantastic tonite, the imagery, props – really excellent. GO SEE IT!!!

I had a ton of thoughts and feelings seeing Matt tonite. But that’s all I’ll say. He did really fantastic in the show though.. it’s a great part for him… he’s really funny in it. Man, acting is a TON of work. He’s the lead again in this one and has a ton of lines. He was always great at memorizing all of em. I could never do it! Takes some serious commitment.

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Mark Ruffalo was REALLY cute in 13 Going On 30. I liked that movie. I didn’t like some of the more fairy tale parts of it – but then again, that’s the premise of the whole damn movie. Anyway – I *really* liked his character in it. It made me think he’s super cute now :) He’s in a couple more new movies out now… but not sure I’ll ever think he’s as cute as he was in this one.

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I’m excited that fall is here. Why? I need new shoes. And sweaters. Funny thing is my closet is COVERED in shoes. (blush) Buuuuut they’re not the shoes I neeeeeeed!!! Ok. I admit I have a problem. And I admit I dream about walk in closets with a whole wall that will fit all the shoes my little heart desires!!! :) But, right now I could use another shoe hanging thingy. And I honestly don’t want like 5 pairs of them and want some other kind. I still need a pair of cool black boots to go w/ jeans. No heel… not too chunky.. comfy for shoes and walking long distances, etc. You’d think this would be an easy task – but it’s actually really hard to find!!

While I’m wishing for things I sure would LOVE to find an exact replica of my favorite 2 pairs of shoes. But I know that’s really pushin it.

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MY kitty is REALLY cute. I love it when he sleeps with me at night. He comes up for a final snuggle and comes and wakes me up in the morning. I’m not sure I can live without these creature comforts.

Tonite I layed in my arms while I watched some trailers online, and looked up the news on what happened in tonite’s debate. He’s such a fuzzy baby. And sometimes he snores. It’s really cute.

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Ok, I’m tired now.

Except, I’m not talking about Salt N Pepa. I’m talking about Christina Aguilerra! (you’re shocked, I’m sure :)

I haven’t been that big of a fan of hers. I mean, looks wise I vote Britney (but now she’s kinda gone kinda white trash, so says the trashy magazine I read about her in), but I think we all can agree “xtina” has an actual *voice*. But I DIGRESS!!

Anyway, looks and well-marketed careers aside, more power to the girl because now she is doing a show on MTV, talking to young people about sex and how our rights are being threatened by Bush Co. YAY CHRISTINA!!

[Warning: Rant!] Abstinence only education is B*S!!!!! Bush (and all supporters of this) need to wake up and realize it’s 2004 and there are gay people and underage youth having sex at alarming rates and telling them that “pre-marriage sex” is “bad” is not only dismissing a huge part of our population who CAN’T get married (!!), but it’s completely neglecting to advise them of safe sex at. all. What kind of logic is that? It’s not. It’s ignorance.

Ugg. Sorry I know I’ve gone off this before – and actually I didn’t mean to get my panties in a bunch (so to speak), I actually just meant to sing my praises to Christina. I think she’s going to encounter some seriously frusterating and liberating discussions in her quest – but I wish her the best and am so glad she’s doing what she’s doing!!!

::: Update 10/1

Here’s a great animation about why it’s important to get a democrat in the WH QUICK!! Check it out > “A Long Time”

Aaand another one – this is actually kinda funny. It’s like our current political situation dramatized into a trailer for a movie:

Check it out: The Democrats (coming to a theatre near you winning nov. 2!)

I’m off to my drum lesson (I’ve been slacking on practicing something fierce!), but Warren goes on tour next week so I want to get one last one in before he goes. I’m taking along some Ben Kweller and some Metric to learn a few songs. Should be fun.

I want these iPod Speakers!!

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Jem, Rick & I went to Phantom Planet lastnight @ Slims – it was good, but not as rockin as the first 2 times I’ve seen them. I won’t even go into how bad the opener was (we left & came back. we seriously thought they were joking at first, and when we realized they weren’t we took off to save our ears the agony)

This Friday though we’ve got a KICK ASS show: Libertines & Radio 4 – I’m SO STOKED!! Unfortunately Rick has to leave town on business (Tahoe, though, so it’s not so rough :) but I’ve got 4 other girlfriends going with me, so it’ll be an awesome time.

I also have photos from last week to post.. and a lot of other stuff that’s been on my mind but I haven’t been getting around to blogging about.

Tonite I’m going to see a play Matt (my ex-boyfriend) is starring in: The Designated Mourner

Bye!

[mental note]

hello all. how’s your week been? mine has been good.

I really was kinda stressed coming back from Florida.. and have had some other potentially sad/but now it’s happy emotional rollercoasters happen throughout the week… but the good news is I’m back & I’m on a roll!!

However, wouldn’t ya know it, I feel like I’m coming down w/ a cold. :( As always though, I refuse to let it get me! So I’m fightin the good fight. I was feeling fine at the beginning of the week…

We went to a show on Tuesday night: Muse at the Warfield. It was good! Muse was waaay more rockin than we thought they’d be so it was a pleasant surprise. They hadn’t listed the openers though and when we got there I was stoked The Evening were on the bill! Sweet! But get this – they said show started at 8, and we got there at 8:05, and the 2nd band was already on! WHAT GIVES WARFIELD!?!? JeeshK!! The second band wasn’t my cup of tea either (America is Waiting ?!?) The name alone I couldn’t get into, sorry. Oh and the Warfield strikes out 2x cuz the fancy pants in the light booth obviously thought we LOVED that really bright light flash (obscenely bright) in our eyes over & over & over again. I closed my eyes on the major beats to avoid the OUCH! (looking back this could be my cold starting as my eyes have been way more sensitive to light these last couple days)

Oh! And Rick’s friend Jeff joined us for the evening, too, which was cool. He’s in town from Boston this week and I was psyched to finally meet him. Him & Rick went to college together – and then traveled through South America together for 7 months! Jeff (Cecil) was a crazy single man at one time apparently, but now he’s kinda more settled down (aka happily married) on the east coast. Which is awesome, but he hasn’t been out here in a long time apparently – so all his buddies here are psyched to have him out here and partyin like they used to!

So before the show we all went out for some YUMMY sushi at our *favorite* place. Rick & I had been craving and it was soo good, as always!! Jeff really liked it, too, and he said he hadn’t had sushi in years! Crazy!

So Wednesday I had BAM and then went & picked up Jee for a show at Bottom of the Hill: Fu Manchu w. openers Rolling Blackouts

Jee had sorta turned me onto Fu Manchu a bit more last year and since we’d both missed last time they were in town, we planned to hit this one when we saw they were coming. They were pretty good. It was good to see them live finally, but I’m not sure I’d go see them again. Their songs are cool, and it’s fast paced with some good guitar and drums… but sometimes their songs all sound the same. Oh, and a notable trait I have to mention is that the lead singer had one of those classic punk faces, where just before he rocked out really hard, he looks likes he’s gonna be sick. It was pretty funny, but in my head I kept thinking “Oh no, he’s gonna boot!!” hahaa

Rolling Blackouts were really good actually. Granted my 2 gin drinks were probably kickin in right then.. but seriously, I’d see them again.

Better than any part of the show that night though, was that it was just SO GREAT to see Jee. I hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever, but more so we just haven’t seen eachother one on one where we could catch up. Luckily, the first band SUCKED (total hard core screamer / santa cruz punk) and so we went in the back & screamed our way through catching up :)

We talked a lot about our relationships… She’s in one that’s kinda the first of this length & magnitude for her in awhile. And, as you all well now, I’m in one that’s SLAYING me on how absolutely amazing it is!!! (not to mention I wouldn’t even be in it at all if it weren’t for jee!) But good couplehood aside, we’ve both naturally been wrestling with a few things and it was just fantastic to have some good ol’ fashioned girl talk to help sort it all out. xoxo

That night however I probably shouldn’t have drank or stayed out as late as I was starting to feel the sore throat coming on. But Fu Manchu played a really long set, so before I knew it it was 12:15 and I motioned to Jee that I really needed to go home to sleep! Coming from my week on the East Coast,where I was forced to adjust to the time zone due to my little sister waking up for school at 6am!, it’s taken me awhile to get back in the swing of things back here on the west coast. Staying up to my usual 1am or 2am isn’t even an option – and even midnight (3am east coast) has been hard!!

Anyway – by Thursday morning I was sore throat city & really feeling run down & feverish. It’s totally just catching my immune system down – so I’m determined to give it a run for it’s money and try to kick it’s ass outta my body!

So bummer was though, I had a show planned lastnight that I *really* wanted to see: Rilo Kiley / Tilly & the Wall at Bimbos. But by the afternoon I decided it was best that I forgo that opportunity and just get myself better. Because…

We have a big weekend coming up! Hence why I’m home tonite, too. I wanna kick this thing so I can be in tip top form (or atleast closer to it than I’m feeling now). And it’s working! I think I’m feeling a bit better today (not worse, which is a great sign!) Tomorrow night’s going to be fun though because not only is Rick’s friend Jeff is in town, but his other friend Bruno came up from LA – AND it’s my honey’s Birthday weekend!!!!!! So, we’re all going out & I’m lookin forward to a fun night of partyin w/ my sweetie and his out of control party animal friends (ha).

Update: Here’s my photos from our party evening (and Marisa’s photos too)

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Rick gave me his Lomo to play around with… but it’s either broken or needs new batteries. I had to sorta teach myself the ropes tonite though so I searched around on a few sites while I ate dinner. Recently I got a HOLGA too… but have yet to finish the roll and get it developed. Fun new experimental stuff though. Speaking of, I submitted a photo to JPG Magazine (Heather&Derek’s new venture). Check it out. I love that they’re always doing community projects like this!

I feel like I had more to say, but I think I need to get off the computer. It’s only 10pm but I’m fading fast. Time to crawl in bed & kick this dang cold!!

Today marks the one year anniversary of the “Freak Check”!

Read the story of How We Met for more details… (note this anchor link might not get you to the right place the first time. If it doesn’t take you to the post titled “how we met”, then click back & click the link one more time)

We laugh because at the time I set out to make sure he wasn’t a freak. But it was more like Freak? Check!! :) Because we’re both music freaks, partyin freaks, travel freaks… the list goes on!

Pretty wild. Who knew a year later I’d be sooo head over heals?

I’m home!!!

I’m so happy I could cry!! I actually did have very big happy tears in my eyes yesterday as I got off the plane and felt the cool San Francisco air. But I had little patience for the painstaking minutes it took to get from the airport to my house, as I was tired of passing the time before returning to *my life*.

The flight seemed to take FOREVER! and with an hour delay already, I was anxious to just. get. home. SO by the time I got on BART I just tried my best to just close my eyes, let my mind be soothed by my music and be comforted by the fact that, although I wasn’t home already, it was closer now than it had been in 10 days and that was better than nothing!

Finally I got home and snuggled my sweet fuzzy kitty for a long, long time!! Nobody gives him snuggles like his Momma and I could tell he was in heaven soaking the familiar lovin up from head to toe. My little buddy is sooo handsome!!! It was a very sweet and exciting reunion for both of us.

Then quickly I did a little cleaning up and took a shower to get ready for Rick’s arrival. We missed eachother so bad this week, it was agonizing. But seeing eachother was almost like a shock, so amazingly good and yet both of us just kept pinching ourselves that we were really finally together again. I was sure I was going to wake up any minute, still in Florida, a million miles away from my lover.

Thankfully, I’m *really* here!! And the last 24 hours back in town could not have been more lovely, or more genuinely the San Francisco that I know & love.

First of all coming home to my lovely little sunny garden flat and having my sweet kitty here to meet me with open paws and purrrrrs. And then seeing my sweetie, who had brought me the biggest bouquet of sunflowers I’ve ever received in my life! :) AND he made us reservations at Little Nepal (SFGate review), a restaurant we’ve been wanting to try in my neighborhood (and it was really good!!).

Then this morning we went for my *favorite* breakfast: Huevos Rancheros at Boogaloo’s on Valencia. And while we were waiting for our table, we went into Aquarius Records. I listened to what they had at their listening station and decided I want the new Clinic. I should have bought it today. Rick bought a few CD’s that I’m looking forward to hearing though.

Also, coincedentally, today was the 1st Annual Valencia Street Fair! Which made sense after I heard it was ‘1st Annual’, because when we first saw it I was like “Since when does Valencia St have a Street Fair?”. Well, I was delighted we were down there for the first day of it!

It was only a block long since this is the first year, so maybe next year it’ll be 2 blocks! :) Usually I don’t visit other Street Fairs around this city, but I was glad we stumbled upon this one. There were some great vendors, mostly local Mission artists, restaurants and stores had booths with stuff for sale. I got a new necklace and a great new ring!

Luckily the sun came out, too!! It was really cold lastnight & we even woke up to cold & rain this morning… so I felt like Mother Nature was shining down on the Mission today, supporting their 1st year… (and maybe trying to sooth my transition from the tropical warmth to chilly SF! :)

We ran into Ev, Sarah and their friend, Scott, and stopped and chatted w/ them for a bit. And then I recognized this girls baby line, Speesees (she had a booth) that I’d just heard about recently in a conversation I’d had with someone after I told them about my wanting to start a baby line. But I couldn’t figure out where & who I had been talking with though, and because I knew Rick wasn’t there I couldn’t use him as my backup short term memory (which often comes in so handy!). I told her “Oh, someone I know knows you…” but then found myself searching for who the heck it could be and then finally remembered it was from a great conversation with a bunch of architects at Rachel’s going away party. And she said, “Oh ya, I know a ton of architects!” and waved her arms to the two guys there chatting with her and one of them (Jeremiah) was the guy I had been talking to! Huzzah! Small world! :) So it was great to chat w/ her about her business and to run into Rachel’s friend again.

So my last 24 hours, between coming home to my darling kitty and flat full of MY stuff, to the delicious (and wonderfully authentically ethnic) dinner, to my favorite breakfast with my sweetie, to buying music and shiny jewelry, to the sun coming out, running into old and new friends in our cozy little city, and experiencing Valencia Street in full swing on a Sunday morning… *sigh* it is sooo very good to be home. :)

As we were walking back to the car I said to Rick that I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing welcome back, and that I wanted to kiss whoever was responsible for making everything so magical for me. And Rick said “You’re the one whose responsible. You’ve created this wonderful life for yourself and we were all just here waiting for you to come home.”

So I kissed him and he kissed me back. :)

I know some of you might not be into this, but to quote Sarah “..hey, it’s my blog.” Or maybe you’re just not into politics, like my sister, “You’re not talking about politics with me, are you? Cuz if you are, I’m not listening.” (when trying to explain to her how Bush is threatening our rights as women.)

Anyway – these people raised all this money to get a room at the Park Palace Hotel in NY (read news story), and put up this awesome big banner. Very cool.

Mark Morford wrote another one of his fantastically sarcastic articles about the election, titled “Love Masochism? Vote BushCo!”

“I mean (they will say), sure Bush is widely regarded as the most politically inept and ethically dangerous and environmentally hostile president in American history, and sure women’s rights were hammered and civil rights were shriveled and every single major ally we have in the world now either disrespects us or mistrusts us or openly abhors us like an Olsen twin shuns direct sunlight.

And sure Dubya’s sanctimonious and violent warmongering actions in the Middle East have done far, far more to inflame anti-U.S. hatred and have amplified the threat of terrorism against us a thousandfold, but hey, the Texas schlub only lasted four years and now we can move on, right?”

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And lastly, an excerpt from a recent Kerry campaign email that I just loved:

“…George Bush and Dick Cheney have lost over a million jobs, made our health care crisis worse, and turned record budget surpluses into record deficits. They misled America into war, failed to plan for the peace, and are running up a $200 billion bill at the expense of America’s middle class taxpayers.

And now they are acting like they are doing us a favor by standing for re-election. They even have the gall to tell the American people how risky it would be if we turned them out of office.

The biggest risk to America’s future is four more years of Bush-Cheney’s incompetence, misinformation, and ill intent.”

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I saw 6 more Bush stickers/lawn signs yesterday, but 2 for Kerry/Edwards! There are *some* Democrats in Florida, thank GOD.

OK, now back to work.

1. Life is Tough

Sorry to say it, but it just gets tougher. You think you’ve got it rough now? Going to school is so hard? Fitting in is so hard? Working all day just to get up & do it all over again? Well, get used to it. As life goes on we soon realize that sometimes daily life takes the best attitude you can muster. Some days are horrible and some days are great, but the good news is as long as we keep putting one foot in front of the other, we can continue to see the good days and enjoy our lives. And really, as tough as it may seem some days, life is also AMAZING and is full of the most joyous, thrilling, wonderful moments you could ever wish for. Hang in there.

2. Memorize this saying:

“It’s none of my business what you think of me.”

I think it was from some book years back, that I never read, but I LOVE the message. What others think of you shouldn’t even matter. I know it can seem like it does sometimes – and certainly there’s an element of caring what people think that can help keep us in check – but in all reality, why are you caring what these other people think?

For example, you might be self-conscious and think Person A is thinking something about you. Well, you really don’t know what they’re thinking. And it doesn’t matter! Whatever their range of emotions might be, it probably has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Jealousy, fear, or just plain curiosity. Person A might have given you a look and not smiled, because you haven’t smiled at them… so you’re tied. Honestly most people are very self-absorbed and you may think they’re thinking something about you – but 90% of the time, Person A is probably wondering what you’re thinking about them! (Surprise them and smile!)

Life’s too short to get caught up worrying about what everyone else thinks. You can’t please everyone, so instead take that energy to just listen to what makes you happy and do as you please. Give to others and treat others as you would like to be treated – and I can guarantee that people around you will notice. They’ll see a more confident, carefree, giving person who just wants to have fun and not be bogged down by the details. And if you’re not as guarded and you try to open up without feeling so intimidated (aka worried about what they think) then you just might make a new friend!!

3. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE.

Everyone thinks they’re different or weird. I feel like I’M different & weird!!! I feel like a total alien sometimes! But, thing is, there’s certain people I am around that make me feel great, and others that don’t.

Think of a friendship that totally made you feel normal… A friend you could be silly or sad or crazy or just plain boring around and it was OK. There are more friendships in your future like that! Don’t feel like an off-friendship is any reflection on you – sometimes people just don’t click. Find people you feel good around… even if it’s just one person. And if you don’t know anyone around you, then one of those people just might be a new friend you totally click with… so you’ve got nothing to lose. Try being a friend to someone else who looks like they need it or try connecting with someone about something you’re both doing, or ask them if they’ve ever done (insert one of your hobbies)… It might feel awkward at first, but they might be just as nervous as you are. After the first couple sentences it will be less awkward – and you just might find yourself a new friend! (If you’re apprehensive to try this, read #2 again)

4. There is life after school!!!

Junior High was HELL for me. Well, not entirely – I can remember moments and days of super silliness and bonds with friends like I had never felt before, but I had my dark days FOR SURE. Same with High School – and honestly, I don’t think I would ever do it again… but the good news is you don’t have to!! Time ticks on and years go by and WALA! You’re FREE!!!! SO if anything, please just remember that this micro-society you’re stuck in will be a thing of the past some day and by that time you’ll have made memories that will last you forever and you’ll be onto bigger and better things. So please, don’t take it so seriously. It’s just school. You’ll make it through, I promise.

5. I know you’ve heard it a thousand times before – but I cannot stress enough one of the KEYS to getting through life is ATTITUDE.

I have had some serious ups & downs in my life (as we ALL have, see #1 & #3) but I finally realized that the ONLY thing I could control is my attitude. I can either go into something with a bad attitude or a good one. I can either choose to be happy or I can just make it worse by blaming everyone else and throwing a big ol’ pity party, have a temper tantrum, probably hurt someone’s feelings in the process and dig myself even deeper. Hmm – which one’s easier?

I think it can be hard when you don’t know what the heck these strange and huge emotions are, especially when you’re knee deep in the quagmire! So try journaling your feelings out, or even asking someone if they’ll listen. But if you talk it out with someone, know that you don’t have to come to some solution or make them feel guilty for not fixing your problem… Just state that you just want to be heard and see if it makes you feel better. Sometimes even asking for a hug can help.

Having a good attitude can be as simple as, “I totally don’t want to do this, but I guess I’ll just give it my best shot”. Or even make light of it somehow by just plain out admitting, “Man oh man, I feel totally lost in this situation and I don’t like the feeling at all!” (put on a funny frowny face) :)

It’s OK to be vulnerable and feel lost. You don’t have to know what’s going on or be right. We can have off days and not be so happy about things, but truly there’s a way you can try to be a good sport about it and know that it’s not forever. Remember that the one thing you can always count on is CHANGE. You’re not a victim to your surroundings, you can reinvent yourself at any time. Make your life what YOU want it to be: Listen to your feelings, make lists of the person you want to be and the things you want to do. If you set goals and have the right attitude, the change that happens in your life can be in the direction YOU want it to go.

Lastly, I lend you my favorite expression (used by many for centuries, but here I’ll clean it up a little for the young crowd): POOP HAPPENS.

It’s true! :) Life is tough, but it’s a lot easier if you can stop worrying so much about what other people think of you, keep in mind you’re not the only one that feels out of place at times, and that bad days (or months) won’t last forever. Try to have a good attitude about things, and if all else fails – just remember: Sometimes poop just happens.

Yesterday I learned what it is like to be a single Mom and not be able to get any work done. By the time we woke up at 6:30, left here at 7:30 got her there by 8 we realized we’d forgotten her bag lunch at home. And because it’s a private school, there’s only a lunch program that you have to pay for & be in on at the beginning (for some crazy reason) so she has to bring her own lunch. So, I go pick up some things for the house and came back for maybe an hour and before I know it our friend Laura calls and needs to be picked up. That works fine cuz it’s on the way to Haley’s school and I need to bring her her lunch.

Laura & I talked to the head of the school for a little while about a few issues, and then I dropped Laura off and came back home. By this time I was starving and made myself lunch and had maybe 45 minutes before I had to leave to go get Haley. oy!!

Then Haley & I try to hit a dance store to get her a leotard & tap shoes for her Dance class. We try some stuff on, but don’t find anything – so we leave and set out to go to another, but realize it’s getting close to 5 and we have to get back to the apartment (in the pouring rain) for an appointment my Mom had scheduled and we had to keep. By the time that’s overwith it was 6 and Haley had to get to doing her homework. Again I have another hour or so, but then it’s dinner time and I have to make it!

I will say here I made a DELICIOUS dinner! I don’t cook very often, so when I do I get all proud. It was tasty: chicken stirfry, with broccoli, red pepper, spinach, garlic and soy. MMM!! We had that on rice w/ a side salad (romaine, carrots, mini tomatoes) and I made Haley tell me it was excellent :) She agreed, except for the red peppers.. I got all of hers. haha

SO then I had to help her with her English and helped her study for a test. I think I learned as much as she did!!! Let’s just say I didn’t ‘retain’ much from my school years, because really – up until these last couple days, I couldn’t have identified the pronouns and adverbs in a sentence. (blush)

I know, that’s horrible – but it’s true!! I’m not a writer and have never been a good editor… I’m a creative! haha Anyway – Haley’s a smart kid and I’m so proud of her… no doubt the girl will be more successful than me one day! I can’t wait to hear how she does on the test. I’m hoping she nabbed me an extra cuz I’d like to see how well I studied!

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This morning I took a dip in the pool for the first time! It felt great and Rosie had a really fun time on her walk and hanging out by the pool with me. It was even sunny out! The best part is just how warm it is all. the. time. And with it being kinda cloudy and stormy right now it’s just right – not too hot.

Ok, I have 30 mins before I have to go pickup Haley again – then it’s off to a dance store to see if we can find those items, and then tonite we’re going to try to have dinner w/ the McInnes’.