One of my favorite quotes in Nigel Marsh’s TED talk is when he states, “Never put the quality of your life in the hands of a commercial corporate entity.” Here here! I also love when he talks about how it is up to *us* to set the boundaries in our lives.
Creating space in my life is all about “elongating the time-frame.” Slowing it down in this fast-paced world is such a gift. If I can do it, anyone can! :)
Talking to a friend the other day, she told me a story about how she’d caught her roommate smoking in the house, but when she confronted her about it, the roommate denied it. She went on to say how she actually expected that answer from her, because she often lies or covers up the truth about a lot of little things. Like when my friend finds fast food wrappers stuffed and hidden in trashcans, but the roommate declares she doesn’t touch the stuff.
Hearing this made me feel so much sadness and compassion for this woman. Not being honest with ourselves is the biggest disservice we can ever do in our lives, and creates an unhealthy cycle of shame and illusion around what’s really going on. And she’s certainly not alone. Humans are faced with many scruples in every day life, in order to navigate the social hierarchies that play out. However, when we’re not being honest with ourselves, or making up stories to save face, it inevitably leads to consequences.
In the extreme, this kind of self-abandonment can lead to addiction, depression and compulsive behavior, but what about the moderate little white lies we tell, that we think aren’t hurting anyone? Those consequences might show up in the person who justifies their shopping habit, but is actually in major debt with several maxed out cards. Or the person who is 30lbs overweight, but if we looked closer we’d see they actually eat late at night, because they’re lonely or stuffing the fact that they’re dissatisfied with their life or their job. Or the coworker who calls in sick, but really they’re hungover from escaping their truth the night before.
These are only examples, and it’s not about judgment either. First of all, every single one of us has lied, stolen something or escaped our truth in some way, shape or form at some point in our lives. We are human and we are not alone in this. Step one is awareness and step two is compassion and forgiveness.
Committing to the Truth
How often do we make up little white lies to cover up the truth? And why? For example, I may be running late for an appointment, and my first instinct might be to contrive a story: “Sorry I’m late, I got an important phone call at the last minute.” or “Sorry, traffic was horrible!” or blame the trusty scapegoat: public transportation.
When we tell little white lies, who are we trying to cover for? Are we trying to make the other person feel OK, or are we trying to make ourselves feel less ashamed about the real reason? Furthermore, if you are truly honest with yourself, is the truth all that bad? “Sorry I’m late, I totally should have left my house 15 minutes earlier.” “My apologies for not being on time, I really wanted to be and hate it when I’m not. I’m here now though… so good to see you!”
Often our white lies are our inability to forgive ourselves for messing up or not knowing better. So if we lie to ourselves, and others, we’re really just trying to be [an illusion of] perfect. By blaming something else, it’s not your fault. Or by making up an answer, you don’t look stupid. What if we started accepting responsibility? What if we committed to being aware of our feelings in those moments we find ourselves wanting to make up a story, and get curious as to why we feel compelled to speak anything other than the truth? Even if that means admitting you’re embarrassed or ashamed. Don’t take this as an invitation to beat yourself up about your shortcomings, just be aware of what’s really going on.
Personally I made a commitment a few years ago to watch for those times that I feel compelled to make up a story, and started practicing being really honest. In fact, what inspired this post was my not being completely honest with someone last week: I was in the check out line at Trader Joe’s and the cashier asked me how I planned to prepare the red quinoa I was buying. Well, to be perfectly honest, it might be the first time I’d ever bought red quinoa (I’d prepared the regular, but not red), and I had no idea. I had, however, read what was on the back of the box before I put it in my cart (or maybe it was online?), and it said something about an avocado salsa. Before I even had a chance to think about it, my answer rolled out that I was thinking about preparing it with “sauteed mushrooms and a simple avocado salsa.” Oh ya, I’m a total red quinoa expert and completely comfortable in the kitchen, nothin’ to see here! Jeez. Part of me can chalk that up to creative improvisation, but really? What if instead I answered with 100% honesty, what would that have looked like? “You know, I haven’t made quinoa too many times… do you have any recommendations?”
Despite my silly white lie – that most likely no one but me was privy to (i.e. I’m only disrespecting myself in that dishonesty) – he did give me a recommendation… and a great one at that! See: How to Sprout Quinoa
Vulnerability is Sexy and Endearing
It doesn’t have to be all serious, either! Some of my favorite moments are when people humbly apologize and can laugh at themselves. Nobody’s perfect, and we’re all doing our best. Let’s commit to accepting and respecting ourselves enough to be as honest as we possibly can. We stand to learn a lot about ourselves and feel free-er and lighter than ever before.
If this post hit a chord with you, I recommend the following books:
Every February here in SF we have Noise Pop: a week full of super fun art shows, happy hours, films, music and more. It’s one of my favorite festivals, the music part in particular, and my friend’s & I have been going for years.
Oh hey, look, it’s me, Ali & Mai with David Cross! Noise Pop VIP Party, 2006
Photo by Dan Wolf, my HS friend I reunited with at Noise Pop in 2005!
On top of that, they’ve always carved a space for us indie artists, too, with their awesome Pop & Shop fair, which I’ve participated in a number of times, both during the festival in February and their Holiday event.
Selling my WilloToons line at Noise Pop & Shop, way back in 2008
This year they’ve not only added a Pop Up Shop, but they’ve developed a full weekend of awesome events and workshops, called Culture Club. So rad! For those of you born before the nineties, you may get the reference. Some of the teens I mentor in Bamboozled didn’t. Hi, I’m getting old. Hech hemm.
Because I’m liquidating my clothing line, I won’t be selling there this year, but even more up my alley lately: I will be leading a workshop! It’s a topic I’m passionate about, and I had fun with the title: “Creative Collaboration: Don’t DIY Alone”
Connecting with other creatives online, or in your local community, is a great way to kick-start your ideas or support the launch/growth of your business! In this workshop you’ll learn:
Whether you’re a wanna-be crafter or a full-time entrepreneur, join us and let’s create something awesome!
For all of you who are local, I really hope you’ll come out. Sunday’s day of shopping + awesome craft talks & workshops is 100% FREE! Also looking for pals who want to hit some of the awesome bands that are rollin’ through town this year. Eat. Sleep. Rock. Repeat!
You must be present to win
necklace by lulubugjewelry on Etsy
Indeed!
I love this necklace so much. It’s made by the talented jewelry designer Sue Urquhart, aka Lulubug (on Etsy), whose equally-talented sister, Colette Urquhart, aka Raw Art Letterpress (on Etsy), had made this image as a print. Colette has a bunch of prints (+ cards, stickers and more) with statements that I just love:
I initially stumbled upon their work at Renegade San Francisco last year and fell in love instantly. She had little mini-stickers of the Be Present statement and I really want the necklace. It just rings so true. Being present is FULL OF WIN. :)
This video was the cause of my last LMFAOROTFL:
Seriously, don’t get ADD… watch it the whole way through.. it just gets funnier!
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Here’s another hilarious one while I’m at it… this one cracks me up so hard every time:
Seriously, so funny, right?? I want to hang out with these people!!
Wow, watch out when you ask for awesome new change in your life, because you will really get it! There has been some seriously big changes happening around here, and it has been nothing short of awesome, educational and down-right transformational.
Storenvy hits a Giants game!
To start, last summer I joined on the founding team of Storenvy.com. Such an awesome product, and I had a blast working long start-up days and nights with Jon & Janette; designing, building and working our butts off. OK, we managed to get a little fun in, too.
There’s nothing like being on the core team of a very young startup, and I reveled in co-developing the vision and mission for cultivating a game-changing social shopping community experience that would help thousands of indie merchants worldwide in the process. That’s my specialty!
Fast Forward to Now
Storenvy has some *very* exciting things happening… the biggest of which is being announced tomorrow! (I will update this post with a link) Here it is! TechCrunch: Storenvy Finds A Number Of Impressive Buyers For Its $1.5 Million Round
And with that, it brings me to my exciting announcement:
Now that we’ve grown Storenvy to this point and it’s rockin’ right along,
I am transitioning into an advisory role with the company.
Ch-ch-ch-changes
As many of my close friends know, I don’t take my commitments lightly: I’ve lived in the same home for 7.5 years, mentored a group of teens out in the Sunset for over 9 years and lived in SF for almost 15 (!). So, just as replacing myself with all of my regular clients and joining on with Storenvy was a big decision, my transitioning to an Advisor role was no small potatoes either. But, in the same vein, it feels right, and I’m really proud to continue being a part of this team moving forward.
What’s Next?
For those of you following along, and close friends, you know that diving into this new year, I have been making some big changes in my life.
Totally unrelated to the Storenvy stuff, I recently announced that I am officially letting go of my apparel line. That’s a decision I’d been coming to for awhile now, but in the spirit of the new year decided to go for it and make it official. Wahoo! Mind you, WilloToons still lives on, it’s just the apparel portion that’s being liquidated.
Beyond that, this transition has thrust me back into my business goals in a whole new way. I feel incredibly grateful to have owned my own businesses and truly paved my own way as an independent artist for most of my adult life. Seriously, how great is that? So while I won’t get into the details of my next step just yet, suffice to say there are some very exciting things on the horizon! Subscribe to my newsletter and you’ll hear all about it first.
Thank you all for your love and support… it means the world to me!
WilloToons is a realization of a dream I’ve had since I was a little girl: to draw & design cool ideas and put them on products. I DID IT! However, last year it became clear that this first incarnation — t-shirts and baby onesies/bibs, etc. — had run it’s course. So, in the spirit of a sparkly fresh new year: I am letting go of the apparel portion of my line.
Get it Before it’s Gone!
Already stock is really low, so we’ve hidden a number of the completely sold out items, but a few of my favorites still have a few sizes left (at the time of posting this, anyway)… they will go fast! Some of the tees were already on clearance, too, so we’re talking sweet designer tees for around $10 – wow!
WilloToons Objet d’Art
I have no plans to reprint or reproduce any of the current styles or designs in the immediate future; so these last few tees, boatnecks and cute baby items are practically collector’s items! (At least, so says my friend who was sure to buy several onesies for her unborn child. :)
Share the Awesome
Remember, the ultimate goal here is to celebrate, therefore I’d be grateful if you joined me in clearing this creative space for all that’s on the horizon! Blog about it, post it to Facebook, post it to Twitter, email your friends and family, pass out flyers on your block… you get the idea. Hint: There’s easy share buttons on each of the product pages. :)
What’s Next?
Diving into this new year, I am making some big changes with my life and my art. So, while I am effectively letting go of the clothing line, rest assured there will be physical goods for sale at some point, just not apparel. Subscribe to my newsletter and you’ll hear all about it first!
Thank you so much for all of your amazing support!! I couldn’t have done it without my incredible community and I’m so excited to share my next step with you!
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UPDATE: Oh noes, you missed the epic New Year, New Directions Clearance Sale Extravaganza! discount code I had originally posted accompanying this announcement. A lot has sold out since then & there’s very little left… but go see what you can find. There might even be a discount code waiting for you on the shop itself. ;)
Whatever you do, subscribe to the newsletter right away, so you don’t miss anymore epic news, ok? I’m also always updating Twitter and Facebook, too. Stay ‘tooned! And a big thank you to all who purchased something and/or spread the word! <3
Thanks to Marta for this pretty image.
For the next few days I’ll be writing you from the Altitude Design Summit in Salt Lake City! It’s my first time, and I’m so excited to meet so many amaaaaazing bloggers, writers, designers, crafters, artists and more.
I’m staying in a beautiful hotel with the ever-talented Emily Goligoski and the ecofabulous ‘n fun Caitlin Bristol… both of whom I learn from just by being near them. LOVE these girls!
Anyway, already meeting lovely people, eating amazing food and have a feeling I’m in store for an phenomenal few days. Suuuuper excited! You can keep up with me in real time on Twitter, or even take a peek into the #AltSummit hashtag.
On a technical note, so far the wi-fi is funky and my WordPress database seems down – woohoo, it’s working again! – so this is actually a bit of a test post, but if you see these words, something worked!
Alright, I didn’t get much sleep last night (will I ever get good at the day before vk last minute prep?), so I’m calling it an early one. If you’re here, I hope to meet you! If you’re not… wish you were!
This is showing a text search in Evernote, one of my favorite applications lately, storing all of my thoughts, lists, outlines for books I’m writing (YES), notes and more.
Right now you can take a snapshot note and they are searchable – which is awesome (and means I should start writing neater!) – but boy would it be cool if it could completely transcribe all of the pages in my journals, just by taking snapshots of them.
I’m sure we’re close… go go innovation!
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For those curious about the context of this page (in the photo above), it was just a fun exercise I thought up… to write down some of my childhood answers to the frequent question of: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and then see what some of my underlying feelings were around those roles.
Not pictured: Princess.
I practiced being escorted in & out of horse-led coaches many many nights in my long flowing nightgowns for that role. ;) [underlying: taken care of, important, beautiful, destined for greatness and romance]
What do you want to be when you grow up?
